Currently Listening The Cure - Greatest Hits By The Cure Love Song see related

today...I sincerely wanted to just die. I was so so sick. just out of nowhere. but I woke up and went to work anyway...I'm not quite sure how I did it.

on top of that, I was worried all day and all night long about someone...I thought something might've happened to them. It was just one of those weird vibes and like...they didn't call or anything so I was so worried that I was just a mess. A ginormous mess. Turns out that person is ok, they just don't feel like calling me? ..I guess. It's a huge huge relief but I feel like a horrible person for being entirely infuriated.

so today I sucked at life. It's crazy how much another person can influence you and just drive you up the wall.

I hope yall have a merry christmas!

xOxO Samantha`*dEaR

Currently Listening Gold By Ryan Adams see related

mmk. so my "unforgettable Tuesday" goes as follows:

wake up. threw up. dunno why. guess it was the excitement to start off my day. Took a shower...it went well. listened to some Bradley Hathaway (the one about the fat lady puttin on sun tan lotion) while cleaning my room. Talked to Kappers...he sensed I had been super depressed and had nothing else better to do so I came over and he wooed me with ddr. then he made ME play it. big mistake lol. he listened to me complain for 3 hours or more and tried to fix all my problems. I listened about how he wanted to write a song to sing with his acoustic at his company christmas party saying how all his worker people suck and how they need to get things together before he fires them and laughs in their face about it. the song never quite worked out for some reason. came home after being drenched in the freezing rain. I'm not complaining tho. So now i'm supposed to be cured of a manic depressed state of mind that I fell into ...and I have no idea how. I do some other productive things. then I meet this wonderful guy randomly. He was hella gorgeous and we talked on the phone for a while. Turns out he's like...the most amazing guy ever...wayyyy too great for me. so i'm pretty much in over my head, but I love it. I'd have no problem wasting all my time with him. or not wasting it. I'm finally being able to take things one day at a time...so unforgettable day...I'd say yes.

so today my mom is in a great mood and out of bed so that's a HUGE relief. I go in for my catscan at 2:30. so I hope that goes ok. and then I work tonight at 5:30...so if yall need me call my cell. OH YEAH. we have this security guard at work and when I work late I always sit and listen to his marital problems cuz he's a newly wed and all this stuff and he always jokes around and tells me I have such nice body and crap like that and the girls at work tell me that he thinks he's in love with me and would leave his wife for me. good lord! i've created a monster I guess. egh. anyway ..yall have a wonderful day!

xOxO Samantha`*dEaR

I found this old pic ...this one's for you justin. it's def. not a head shot like the other ones!lol

my horoscope told me that today is supposed to be an unforgettable day...more unforgettable than any in my recent memory. woo boy. lets see how this goes...lol I swear if I end up sittin around watchin fuse all day i'm gonna sue ediets.com.

xOxO Samantha`*dEaR

Currently Listening The Capitol Years By Frank Sinatra Bang Bang My Baby Shot Me Down see related

I just had to put some Panic! at the disco on here...sorry if you liked the old song!!

soOo it's been a while. Morgan's still pissin me off. I graduated ...yesss and so now i'm startin college and all...nooo. It's so weird cuz all my friends are already in college or graduating. Saturday I went out with Katie, Joey, Leann, and Ashley to Melissa's to celebrate Katie's 20th bday. It was great. Miranda, my manager,  showed up and left me presents in the fridge lol. but i'm not supposed to mention that I don't think. I love how I work with all my best friends. I'm takin Miranda to the track to show her how to bet sometime this week. I'm such a horrible influence!!

I feel so bad tho cuz some hawt guy showed up at melissa's and I was sittin there talkin to him and his friend and I was goin on and on about how will from ALA was such a drama queen and blah blah and I don't even think I knew what I was talkin about. I was just rambling. so then they left or whatever lol. see? I'll never ever get a boyfriend ...I dunno how I live with myself sometimes!

hopefully i'm off this weekend n i'll go to a show or something. I don't even know who's playing anymore...I need to get out more! someone rescue me! well anyway I love you all and I don't really think will is a drama queen. I'm not drinking anymore.

oh yeah...and i'm beginning to appreciate the stupid little things people say to each other when they are crazy about one another...just cuz I don't have it. all i'm askin for is random pictures and car rides to absolutely nowhere...a good time without a catch...blah blah you get the point lol.

xOxO Samantha`*dEaR  

Currently Watching The Audrey Hepburn DVD Collection (Roman Holiday / Sabrina / Breakfast at Tiffany's) see related

oh my gawd. Morgan has been makin me so mad lately. I can't get along with any guy I date...gahhh dang!! I was watchin west side story in fine arts today and I've decided the only perfect man in this world is the real romantic kind that sings corny love songs and is desperate to just even see you. lol and is preferably foreign. Morgan doesn't even like...try to be this wonderful boyfriend..i'm just...there. oh well...I think i'm just really stressed out. This is my last week ever of high school and I've got so much going on. work blows lately...speakin of which...that's exactly where i'm about to go.

I've decided to boost my ...morale I guess so I got this strip tease workout video  yesterday...I'm bettering my "whore-ness" That may be the most pitiful thing you've ever seen come out of my mouth. that's another thing! all morgans's friends (not one of them even knows me really) thinks i'm some kind of whore just by what? the way I look I guess. He doesn't even defend me. so yeah...i'm just gonna dance and act like a whore then if that's what he likes his friends to think...not. I'm so childish damn it. but I am in this crazy dancin mood lately.

Brandonnnn....just say one good thing to make things all better like you always do...I'm so blessed to have a friend like you.

I love you all...and i'm gonna just suck it up and eat some ramen.

xOxO Samantha`*dEaR